7 Steps to Overcoming and Replacing Bad Habits

Bad habits, meaning repetitive behaviors we often undertake without much conscious thought, permeate our lives, shaping our daily routines and influencing whether or not we reach our long-term goals. Whether it’s the temptation to oversleep and skip exercise, the compulsion to check one’s phone every few minutes, or the pull of procrastination when faced with pressing tasks, these ingrained patterns of behavior can hinder our personal growth, compromise our health, and stifle our potential. 

The insidious nature of bad habits lies in their ability to operate below the radar, often masked as harmless indulgences or even comforting rituals, while they subtly erode our well-being and aspirations. However, identifying and overcoming bad habits is a critical aspect of personal development, and understanding the nature of these habits is the first step toward breaking them. 

In the words of American entrepreneur Jim Rohn, “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” While bad habits can be deeply ingrained and challenging to eliminate, this article teaches you how to use awareness, determination, and the right strategies to replace them with healthier behaviors.

What Are Bad Habits?

Bad habits are repetitive behaviors that are detrimental to someone’s physical or mental health and/or their relationships and daily functioning. In many cases, bad habits emerge as coping mechanisms for discomfort and negative feelings, such as:

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Boredom
• Exhaustion
• Overwhelm
• Sadness or depression

Examples of Common Bad Habits

There are tons of habits that can be considered counterproductive, unhealthy, and damaging. Some common examples of bad habits include:

• Smoking cigarettes
• Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol
• Overeating
• Eating unhealthy, processed foods
• Nail-biting or other physical “ticks” like picking at skin
• Being very sedentary (avoiding exercise)
• Being a pessimist (chronic negativity) or constantly complaining
• Being a workaholic who deprioritizes rest
• Procrastination
• Chronic lateness
• Negative self-talk and overthinking
• Gossiping about others and demeaning them (a sign of a dark empath)
• Overspending and excessively shopping
• Using inappropriate language and curses
• Compulsively checking social media
• Constantly interrupting others during conversations (a sign of a lack of emotional intelligence)

The Difference Between Good vs. Bad Habits

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Aristotle

While the lines between good and bad habits can be blurry, they are generally distinguished by the impact that a habit has on a person’s health, well-being, productivity, and relationships. Good habits generally lead to positive long-term outcomes, whereas bad habits lead to negative outcomes. Over time, the cumulative effects of bad habits can lead to a general decline in the quality of life. This can be manifested in poor health, fewer opportunities, strained relationships, and unfulfilled potential.

For a habit to be considered “bad,” it typically has to lead to one or more of these negative outcomes:

• Detrimental to Someone’s Health: Habits that harm physical or mental health, like smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, or consistent negative self-talk, can lead to a variety of health issues, including heart disease, liver damage, obesity, and more.
• Decreases Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Engaging in good habits often boosts self-worth and confidence, while consistently falling into bad habits can erode one’s self-worth. Habits like chronic procrastination or constantly engaging in negative self-talk can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. In addition, society often rewards good habits but stigmatizes or penalizes bad ones. 
• Counterproductive to Someone’s Goals: Some habits can prevent one from reaching goals, such as procrastination or chronic lateness. Avoiding challenges and not setting goals are other ways they impede personal growth and prevent people from achieving their full potential.
• Damaging to Relationships: Bad habits can strain relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. For instance, habits like being perpetually late or not listening can cause mistrust and resentment.
• Negatively Impacting Someone’s Finances: Habits like impulsive shopping, not budgeting, or gambling can lead to debt, financial instability, and long-term economic hardships.
• Safety Risks: Some bad habits, like texting while driving or not wearing seat belts, directly increase the risk of accidents and harm.
• Wasted Time: Habits like excessive TV watching, aimless browsing on the internet, or excessive gaming can consume large portions of one’s time, which could be used more productively.

What Makes a Habit “Good”?

While bad habits are destructive, good habits have the opposite effect—they help us accomplish more each day without having to use much willpower or effort. Successful people have good habits that help them to eat well, stay in shape, have more energy, be productive at work, and earn more. You can see why novelist John Irving once said, “Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” 

As opposed to a bad habit, a habit can be considered “good” if it meets these criteria:

• Promotes Health and Well-being: Habits that contribute positively to physical or mental health, such as regular exercise, meditation, or a balanced diet, are often considered “good.”
• Boosts Productivity: Those that help in achieving personal or professional goals, like maintaining a daily to-do list or waking up early, are seen as beneficial.
• Reinforces Positive Relationships: Habits that strengthen bonds, like active listening or expressing gratitude, are valued in relationships.
• Supports Financial Success: Those that contribute to financial stability, such as saving a percentage of one’s income and paying off debt, are worthwhile to pursue.

How Do Bad Habits Form?

“The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.” 

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Bad habits are tempting and easy to develop because they typically offer immediate gratification and an escape from unwanted feelings. Unfortunately, most bad habits have long-term negative consequences—so while they might feel good in the moment, they wind up doing damage over time. On the other hand, helpful habits might require effort in the short term or the delay of gratification, but they yield long-term benefits.

For a bad habit to form, these factors usually play a role:

Brain Chemistry

Habits form due to neural pathways that get reinforced in the brain. When a particular action results in a reward (like a rush of dopamine), the brain starts to associate the two, making it more likely for the behavior to be repeated. Over time, these associations can grow stronger, making the habit automatic.

Reinforcement and Repetition

Bad habits are frequently reinforced by escaping or avoiding unpleasant feelings (e.g., smoking or eating junk food may alleviate stress). In comparison, good habits can be reinforced by the intrinsic pleasure of the activity (like feeling good after a workout) or by external rewards (such as receiving praise or a promotion for a job well done).  

The more frequently an action is repeated, the stronger the neural association becomes, solidifying the habit. One bad habit can also lead to another. For instance, stress eating can lead to weight gain, which then might lead to decreased physical activity, further eating, and increased stress.

Emotional Coping

Many bad habits arise as ways to deal with negative emotions or stress. For instance, someone might drink alcohol when they’re anxious. These actions provide temporary relief, reinforcing the desire to turn to them during the next stressful event.

Environment and Social Influences

Our surroundings and the people we spend time with play a significant role in our habit formation. For instance, if someone is in a group where everyone uses drugs or lives a sedentary lifestyle, they might pick up the same habits due to association and feeling like the habit is “normal.”

Addiction and Dependency

Some bad habits, especially those related to substance abuse, can lead to addiction, making it even more difficult for individuals to break out of these behaviors. Even when an addict wants to change a habit, the desire alone often isn’t enough without making substantial changes to their environment and routine. For example, about 70% of smokers say they want to quit, yet many struggle to do so for years.

The “Habit Loop” Model

The process by which a behavior becomes a habit can be understood through a model proposed by researcher and best-selling author Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit. According to Duhigg, every habit operates in a three-step “habit loop.” As this loop is repeated, the brain starts to put less effort into the process. The behavior becomes more automatic, requiring less conscious thought and effort. 

Here are the three steps involved in habit formation:

• Cue (or Trigger): This is the thing that triggers the habit. It could be an environment, a time of day, an emotional state, or any number of different stimuli.
• Routine: This is the behavior itself—the action you take in response to the cue.
• Reward: After the routine comes some form of reward. This could be a physical sensation or an emotional payoff. This reward helps your brain decide if this particular loop is worth remembering in the future.

What Experts Say About Forming Good Habits

Many thought leaders have explored the realm of habit formation. Here’s a brief overview of a few prominent thinkers and their viewpoints:

James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits:

• Clear focuses on the incremental and compounding nature of habits. He says that tiny changes can lead to remarkable results over time.
• Start by making small changes to your routine to build better habits. 
• Focus on identity-based habits by aligning habits with who you wish to become. This approach is more effective than outcome-based habits. 
• The environment plays a crucial role in habit formation, so desired habits should be made obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying.
• In Clear’s words, “Because bad habits provide some type of benefit in your life, it’s very difficult to simply eliminate them. (This is why simplistic advice like “just stop doing it” rarely works.) Instead, you need to replace a bad habit with a new habit that provides a similar benefit.”

BJ Fogg, Founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford:

• In his book, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything, Fogg’s model asserts that behavior happens when motivation, ability, and a trigger occur simultaneously.
• For a habit to form, one must be motivated, have the ability to perform the habit, and be prompted by a trigger. 
• Fogg suggests you start by changing “tiny habits” that are easy to accomplish and then scale up. His recommendation is to “take any new habit you want, and scale it back so that it’s super-tiny . . . make it so simple that it’s almost like you have no excuse not to do it.”
• To create lasting behavioral change, also focus on changing your environment and context rather than relying solely on willpower.

Stephen Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

• Covey says that habits are foundational principles for personal and interpersonal effectiveness.
• In his opinion, breaking bad habits involves having the right skills and knowledge, plus having enough desire and motivation.
• Covey believes that effectiveness is a balance of production (getting results) and the capacity to produce (which requires self-care and renewal).
• To be truly successful and effective, take charge of your life, focus on what’s most important, collaborate well with others, and remember to take care of yourself physically. 

How to Overcome Bad Habits in 7 Steps

“Successful people are simply those with successful habits.”

Brian Tracy

1. Increase Self-Awareness

Recognizing and admitting you have a bad habit is the first step to overcoming it. For anyone trying to form a new habit (or break an old one), understanding the “habit loop” described above can be incredibly helpful. By understanding the cues and rewards associated with a habit, you can begin to reshape or replace routines, ultimately changing your behavior.

Tips for becoming more self-aware about your habits:

• Introspection: Regularly take a moment to reflect on your actions and recognize patterns that contribute to your bad habits. For example, try meditation or mindfulness to increase your awareness of the triggers and motivations behind your actions. One study found that when smokers used mindfulness apps to quit, they had five times the likelihood of being successful.
• Journaling: Documenting your feelings, triggers, and moments of weakness can provide valuable insights into why you fall back on certain habits.
• Take responsibility: Instead of blaming others or circumstances for your problems, recognize that you have the power to choose your response.
• Utilize feedback: Seek feedback from friends or loved ones about your habits, as they might offer an outside perspective on your behavior that you haven’t noticed.
• Stay educated: Understanding the negative impacts of your bad habits can act as a deterrent. For instance, learning about the effects of smoking on the body might discourage someone from continuing the habit.

2. Set Clear Goals

Goals and habits are closely intertwined, considering that goals are often the driving forces behind habit formation. Setting clear goals provides you with direction and purpose. Knowing why you’re doing something and not doing other things can be a strong motivator for staying on the right track and resisting temptations.

Tips for being intentional and setting goals:

• Set SMART goals: Rather than vague intentions, set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals.
• Break goals down: Divide the main goal into smaller, more achievable steps or milestones to track progress and keep motivated.
• Prioritize what’s most important: Imagine you have a to-do list. Instead of randomly picking tasks, focus on the most important ones—the ones that make the most difference. Alana Mendelsohn, psychiatrist and neuroscientist, suggests you “make a list of the behaviors you’d like to stop doing and put them into priority order. If you try to do everything at once, you’ll likely just get overwhelmed and give up.”
• Aim to adopt identity-based habits: Think about who you wish to become rather than what you want to achieve. This means, for example, adopting the identity of “a reader” instead of setting a goal to “read 50 books.” When you believe in a particular identity, you’re more likely to act in alignment with that identity.
• Visualize your success: Envisioning the end result you’re aiming for can be motivating, so clarify what you’re working toward. Take time to think in detail about the benefits you’d experience if you changed your habit, then imagine living life in this way.

3. Replace Negative Habits With Positive Ones (or Rewards)

Instead of just trying to quit a bad habit, find a healthier behavior to take its place. For instance, if you tend to snack on junk food when stressed, try eating a piece of fruit or taking a short walk instead.

How to swap destructive habits for better ones:

• Change your reward system: Reinforce positive behavior by giving yourself small rewards or praise when you successfully perform the new habit. Do the opposite, too: pay attention to the negative effects of bad habits and consider taking something away from yourself when you engage in an unwanted habit (such as money that you donate each time you slip up).
• Identify alternatives: Recognize what needs the bad habit fulfills and find healthier ways to meet that need. Test several alternatives to see what works best.
• Utilize habit stacking: Pair a new habit with an existing one. For instance, if you already have a habit of having a morning coffee, you might stack a new habit on top, like reading a page of a book while you drink your coffee.
• Repeat and practice: Habits are formed through repetition. Consistently practice the new habit until it becomes second nature.

4. Change Your Environment

Your surroundings play a significant role in habit reinforcement. Therefore, if you’re trying to quit doing something, avoid places where people frequently do this thing or situations that increase your cravings. As Benjamin Franklin once said, “It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.”

Here are tips for setting up an environment that’s conducive to change:

• Eliminate triggers: Remove or avoid things in your environment that act as cues for the bad habit. “You’re most likely to relapse in the context of when you’ve done something before,” says neuroscientist Elliot Berkman. 
• Rearrange your schedule or settings: Berkman adds, “Capitalizing on major life changes can also help break an unhealthy habit . . . shifts in lifestyle can actually be the ideal opportunity for eliminating a vice.” Sometimes a simple change, like rearranging your kitchen or office or taking a different route to work, can disrupt the pattern of a bad habit and kickstart a new one.
• Make desired habits obvious and easy: Design your environment to provide clear cues for your desired habit. Use “temptation bundling” or pair an action you want to do with an action you need to do.
• Surround yourself with positivity: We tend to act how those around us act. Being around people or in settings that encourage good habits can influence your behavior in the right direction. 
• Mentally prepare for temptations: If you can’t avoid a tempting situation, you can at least prepare yourself in advance and devise an action plan. Think about how you want to handle the situation and visualize how you’ll feel after you avoid the bad habit versus engaging in it.

5. Use Positive Reinforcements

Every time you achieve a mini-goal or milestone, it reinforces the effectiveness and value of your new habits. This makes it more likely that you’ll stick with helpful habits going forward. Therefore, rewards (even small ones) can be highly beneficial.

• Reward yourself for milestones: If you’re trying to quit a habit, give yourself a treat for every week you abstain. Examples can include a new piece of clothing or equipment, a massage, or a meal out.
• Share your success: When others notice your progress and comment on it, this gives you validation and an extra boost in confidence. You don’t have to show off or brag, but find people to share your journey with who can celebrate with you.

6. Track Your Progress and Stay Accountable

Even if someone is aware that they have a bad habit that needs to be eliminated, they likely struggle to remove the bad habit or replace it with something better. This is where outside accountability comes into play since it adds extra layers of motivation. As you pursue a goal, you’ll also get feedback on how well your habits are serving you. If you’re not seeing the progress you want, you can adjust your habits accordingly. 

Here’s how to hold yourself accountable:

• Share your journey and goals: Telling friends or family about your goals can provide external motivation and an added layer of motivation and accountability.
• Schedule check-ins: Regularly review and assess your progress. Then, adjust your strategies if needed.
• Find a partner or mentor: Find a friend, coach, or group with similar goals, which will allow you to motivate each other to stay on track.

7. Manage Stress and Prioritize Self-Care

According to a Harvard Business Review article, “researchers have shown that the brain networks associated with self-control (e.g. the prefrontal cortex) are the first to go ‘offline’ when faced with triggers such as stress.” It takes a lot of effort and determination to change habits, which means you need all the energy and focus you can get. It’s essential to take care of yourself so your willpower remains high, stress stays within a manageable range, and you can keep achieving goals. 

To emphasize self-care:

• Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness and meditation can help keep stress in check, plus they’re useful for identifying triggers and reducing automatic responses. 
• Seek support: Whether through therapy, support groups, or talking with friends, discussing your feelings can alleviate stress and provide fresh perspectives on challenges.
• Physical activity: Regular exercise can be a great way to combat stress and release pent-up energy or frustration.
• Rest: Prevent burnout and exhaustion, which are common triggers for bad habits, by getting enough sleep and enjoying downtime.
• Accept and expect relapses: Breaking a bad habit isn’t a linear process. There will be setbacks, plateaus, and periods where it seems like you’re not advancing, but consistency will lead to breakthroughs over time. Instead of seeing slip-ups as failures, treat them as learning experiences and move on.

Utilize Goal-Setting to Determine Your Habits and Drive Success

“Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).”

Stephen R. Covey

Habits play a foundational role in our lives, as both positive and negative habits shape our character, actions, and outcomes. Goals help you zero in on what’s important so you’re less likely to get distracted by unrelated activities, making it easier to stick to habits that align with that goal. In essence, goals provide the roadmap for your life, and habits are the vehicle that help you navigate this map on a daily basis. As you achieve your goals through consistent habits, you build self-confidence. This belief in yourself can then make it easier to form new habits in the future.

Here’s how to begin narrowing down your overarching goals and life purpose to steer your habits in the right direction:

• Determine your values and personal mission statement: Steve Calechman, contributor for Harvard Health, explains, “Before you try to change a habit, it’s fundamental to identify why you want to change. When the reason is more personal, you have stronger motivation and a reminder to refer back to during struggles.”
• Commit to a structure and routine: Goals can help you establish a routine, especially if broken down into smaller steps and tasks. For instance, if your goal is to learn a new language, setting aside specific times each day to practice becomes a structured habit.
• Find ways to keep measuring your progress: Goals often have milestones or checkpoints. By tracking your progress toward these markers, you can see the results of your habits. For example, if you aim to lose 20 pounds and start eating healthier each day, every pound lost is evidence that your new habit is working.

Want to learn more about the power of goal-setting? Check out this article:

Goal Setting: How to Master the Top Strategies for Increasing Life Success