Need a Mental Health Day? Be Honest and Ask For One. Here’s How.

Despite 40% of companies increasing mental health benefits from the start of the pandemic, workers are still struggling with mental health issues. Mind Share Partners’ 2021 Mental Health at Work Report states that “76% of workers report experiencing at least one symptom of a mental health condition in the past year.” Of these employees, 81% in Gen Z and 68% of millennials admitted to quitting their jobs due to mental health concerns.

While almost a quarter of employees report that their employer now offers mental health days as dedicated days off, according to The Harris Poll, employees still feel reluctant to approach the topic of mental health with their boss. In a survey conducted by Breeze, 44% of employees who took a mental health day cited lying to their boss about the reason they needed time off. On top of this, 61% believed their employer wouldn’t allow time off had they told them the truth. 

There’s clearly an issue occurring between the concept of taking time off for mental health in theory vs. reality. So, how do employers and employees bridge the gap to maintain optimum levels of job satisfaction, productivity, and employee well-being? What responsibilities do both parties have to fix the problem? 

Explore how to approach the conversation of mental health in your workplace, why mental health days are important both to an employee and a company, and how to ask for one.

What Is a Mental Health Day?

A mental health day is a paid or unpaid day off devoted to avoiding all sources of stress. Instead of working, the person engages in activities that promote recovery and renewal. This practice reduces feelings of anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm. “These days can provide a much-needed break to recharge, destress, and come back with more energy and a fresh perspective,” says Dr. Reshawna Chapple.

Reasons Why People Are Afraid to Take a Mental Health Day

A study published in Psychological Medicine cited, “In Europe and the USA, 52–74% of people with mental disorders do not receive treatment.” Among the reasons for not receiving care for mental illness, stigma ranked next to last (21–23%) while “disclosure concerns/confidentiality” ranked highest (34%). 

Other common factors studied were: 

• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Negative social judgment
• Employment-related discrimination 

Why Mental Health Days Are Becoming Increasingly Popular

It’s clear the levels of mental health issues spiked after the coronavirus pandemic. In fact, data from the Centers for Disease Control showed that symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues increased more in the summer of 2020 than at any previous time.

Before 2019, the percentage of U.S. adults dealing with symptoms of depression was 8.7%. By March 2020, a full year from the start of the coronavirus pandemic, a report by Science Direct showed this number spiked to 14.4%. 

On top of this, long periods of social isolation during the quarantine also caused a negative impact on people’s mental health. A study by Molecular Psychiatry revealed even higher levels of moderate-to-severe symptoms of depression among those who had been in quarantine versus those who hadn’t. Of the study’s 56,679 participants, 34.1% of them in isolation had at least one psychological concern. 

Workplaces have also felt the effects of these numbers. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that hours worked in the second quarter of 2022 increased by 2.7% from the previous year while true output decreased by 1.4%. This means that employees are working more hours while carrying more mental health issues than ever before. As a result, productivity is suffering.

Today, with two-thirds of workers reporting mental health challenges, according to the American Psychological Association, employers have responded to the urgent call for more action. An APA 2021 Trends Report reveals additional resources for mental health care, company-wide trainings, and mental health days are a growing part of many workplace cultures.

Top Signs You Need to Take a Mental Health Day

• Feeling distant: If you’re feeling generally lackluster and dispassionate, this may drive distance between you and the things you do. Avoid self-isolating by taking a mental health day.
• Strained relationships: Burnout can cause feelings of irritability, resulting in needless conflict between team members and family. Issues at home and at work can be avoided by taking adequate time for self-care. 
• Physical problems: Mental health issues aren’t the only signs of burnout. Physical problems, like headaches, fatigue, and digestion issues, can also occur.  
• Difficulty relaxing: If a lot of stress has built up, disengaging and relaxing can be difficult. This can look like poor sleep and nonstop thoughts about work. 
• Heightened emotions: Emotions that spike and then plummet, confusion, and moments of relief followed by sadness are all signs you’re burned out. Mental health days can help regulate heightened emotions so you feel like yourself again. 
• Distress in your life: Burnout has a sneaky way of making you feel like nothing is going right in your life. If this resonates with you, taking a mental health day will provide some renewed perspective. 

Benefits of Mental Health Days

• Provides time to self-process emotions
• Clears your mind
• Promotes rest and self-care
• Reduces stress and anxiety
• Creates space for fun, exploration, and creativity
• Leads to stronger company culture
• Results in fewer sick days and reduced absenteeism
• Generates greater employee retention
• Causes better talent acquisition
• Develops a positive public image of the company

5 Tips for Asking Your Boss for a Mental Health Day

1. Be Open and Honest With Yourself and With Your Boss

“To know how to address an employee who comes forward with a mental health issue, it’s important for managers to encourage open and honest relationships.”

Mark Bailey

The first step in asking your boss for a mental health day is acknowledging that you need one. Before initiating the conversation, it may be helpful to practice journaling. Write down how you’re feeling, what you would like to do, and what is stressing you out. This will enable you to get clear on your needs and sources of stress, so you can broach the topic with confidence and transparency. 

Tips for practicing open communication:

• Ask questions to clarify
• Differentiate facts from assumptions
• Acknowledge your own faults and areas for improvement
• Be open to receiving feedback
• Lean into vulnerability, rather than avoiding it

2. Address Recurring Sources of Work Stress

“Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.”

Andrew Bernstein

Is there a particular factor at work that’s causing stress daily? Perhaps a new project has you working long hours, or staffing shortages have expanded your workload. If there’s a problem at work that is likely to still be there when returning from a mental health day, address this with your boss. 

According to the Wellness Council of America, common causes of workplace stress include:

• Poor management
• Workplace harassment
• Concerns about job security
• Long hours and heavy workload
• Poor corporate culture

3. Work With Your Boss to Find a Solution

“You don’t make more people unwell by speaking about mental health, you give them the opportunity to seek help sooner.” 

Tom Oxley

Finding a long-term solution requires becoming vulnerable. It means being able to openly talk about the things that are affecting your well-being, even if it’s uncomfortable. Otherwise, your boss can’t help by making positive changes. If your company lacks psychological safety, achieving this level of honesty and openness may not be feasible. If this is the case, it’s time to start looking for a new job. 

Indeed Career Experts outline four steps for finding solutions. They are:

1. Define the specific problem(s).
2. Match them with proposed solutions.
3. Evaluate the pros and cons of each solution.
4. Make a selection based on the analysis.

4. Share Only What You Need To

“Oversharing? Not vulnerability; I call it floodlighting . . . A lot times we share too much information as a way to protect us from vulnerability.”

Brené Brown

When it comes to your mental health, it’s important to lean into vulnerability and practice being open. Mental health issues are something everyone deals with at some point. However, it’s equally important to avoid sharing too much. Your employer doesn’t need to know everything. If work isn’t the primary source of stress, or it’s something temporary that’s affecting you, share only what’s relevant to your boss to take time off.

Examples of things you can say:

• “I have a personal matter that I need to deal with.”
• “I am struggling with some things right now and I may need to take some time off.”
• “I have some stuff going on and I need to take a day to deal with it.”

5. Take Accountability For Your Well-Being

“Self-care is an attitude that says, I am responsible for myself.”

Melody Beattie

Your mental health is your responsibility, while your employer’s responsibility is to provide working conditions that allow you to do your best work. If this isn’t happening, it is up to you to take accountability for your own health and well-being by either speaking up, taking time off, or finding a new job. 

Some other signs it’s time to find a new job:

• You feel stuck, unhappy, or dispassionate about the work you do.
• Leadership is toxic (unkind, dismissive, or overly controlling).
• The team culture clashes with your own beliefs and values.
• You’re not paid fairly for your work.

For more signs and tips on finding a new job, read “Should I Quit My Job? 7 Reasons to Start Looking for a New Role.“

What Should You Do During a Mental Health Day?

“A mental health day is about unplugging from something that uses the bulk of our mental energy and is ultimately draining. A lot of my clients take time out of their mental health day to clean, work on a passion project, or get back to the gym.”

Desiree Wiercyski

It’s not a mental health day if the way you spend it leaves you feeling even more drained. For this reason, it’s important to engage in activities that support your needs. This can look differently for everyone. However, there are some general activities to embrace—and avoid—to get the most from your day off. 

Activities that promote renewal and recovery:

• Going for a bike ride
• Relaxing at the beach
• Doing yoga
• Meditating
• Getting lunch with a friend
• Taking a drive
• Listening to music
• Cooking
• Sleeping in
• Catching a movie

Things to avoid doing:

• Thinking about work
• Overindulging 
• Seeing people that will drain your energy
• Constantly checking social media 

Managing Your Mental Health

Maintaining optimal mental health means taking more than just a mental health day here or there. Long-term health and well-being require strategy. It means doing something every day to protect your energy and feel your best. 

5 tips for managing stress from Emma McAdam at Therapy in a Nutshell:

• Get exercise each day (especially aerobic)
• Reduce or eliminate daily caffeine intake
• Limit media consumption (especially first thing in the morning)
• Make a checklist of tasks and physically check them off as they’re completed
• Do something grounding each day (like yoga, meditation, or breathing exercises)

To learn more about stress management, continue on by reading: “Work Burnout: What It Is and How to Fight It.”